Disappointing, I know. I am the only whore here. But what a whore I am! In the whores section of this site Lord Tony is your plaything. You simply ask, and provided it isn't (very) illegal, (very) immoral, or (very) expensive, I will see too it that your wish is my command. The results will be posted below. I had originally intended to name this section "Ask Lord Tony," but it was just a few characters too long to look good on that succulent beef jerky side bar. Anyway, my point there is that answering any question asked of me has about a 100% chance of a quick response, and asking me to jump in front of moving traffic naked, may have a lower chance of actually coming to pass. Actually, you might want to check the Tonyrotica section if you are into that sort of thing.

Using a mysterious and complicated programming language called php has allowed me to cut out the middle man and let you, the questor, send me, the friggin' Lord Tony, questions at lightning speed! My motto has always been, "There are no stupid questions, but there sure are a lot of inquisitive idiots." So ask away.