2 Steps to Make Focus Dailies Last Longer


A Standard Contact Lense
  • Step 1 - Put in the contact
    This is probably the hardest step because some people have what I like to call "East Asian Eye Syndrome." These people are typically east Asian. If you have this illness, try leaning back and sliding the contact in at a 45 degree angle into the two tiny slits in your head. For everyone else, just open your average sized eye and JAM IT IN. For further instructions, consult the back of your Focus Dailies box.
  • Step 2 - Whatever the hell you do, don't take out that contact or I will come over there and suck your eyes out with a straw made of your spinal column.
I will be watching you
    This part is much much easier than the first step because of the threat of bodily harm, and on top of that, this step requires no actual work from you. I have been wearing the contacts in my eyes for about 2 weeks solid now, which gives me about a 1400% efficiency rate. So for the love of God and all that is holy, you leave those contacts in your eyes, and don't you dare claim that the copious amount of sleep sludge in your eyes in the mornings is making it unbearable. You don't like sleep in your eyes? Here's an idea, just do what I did and stop sleeping.
    Most people waste 8 hours a day asleep anyway which is 50% more time you could spend awake and utilizing your 2 week Focus Dailies. So while most people are out there burning their money wearing contacts for 16 hours and throwing them out, you can be proud in knowing that you are not only getting 24 hours of contact wearidge out of each day, but that you are stringing these days together like you were some sort of psychotic madman who owns his own website and posts most of his updates at 4 in the morning. That is 2100% efficiency!!! Don't you see it? DON'T YOU SEE IT?!
    Woah, I have the cut this article short because Elvis wants to me to go hang with Tupac and Bruce Lee. Sweet, Steve Irwin and Heath Ledger just showed up. This is going to be awesome. As for you. I can scan IP addresses, I know exactly where each and every one of you live. I don't sleep. I don't feel pain. My vision only drops below 20/20 once every 2 weeks. So help me, I will be watching you. And I will be thirsty.